The cast of Characters

Gordon Gecko – [credit to Messi] selfless "concerned" parent who rises up from their oppression and decides to leave and pursue that perfect economic/social/developmental "fit" for his or her kid and family; but also is unselfish enough to enlighten as many other parents on the team as he/she can too so they can also embark on the journey and enjoy the greener pastures. When done well, the "Gordon Gecko" parent is able to effectively dismantle or destroy the team in the process too.

Ethan Hunt – wants to save the world, the team in this case. At first, his/her activities are clandestine, covert ops in nature. Then all hell breaks loose, once the cover is blown.

Mother Theresa – can’t stand the coach’s off-the-field behavior. Has heard lots of rumors, and is afraid that the kid is going to find out about it.

IHOP (aka Waffle House on the East Coast) – parents who can’t make up their mind on what they should do. They will waiver between one decision and another, sometimes even committing to both until it backfires. Can never get enough information to make the perfect decision.

Bean-Counter – wants to track every practice the coach was late by 5 minutes or every game he missed/needed a sub because another of his team’s was playing out of town. Demands a $15.78 refund per family at the end of the year for tardiness.

Forum Cattle – a sub-set of participants here, content to gain size as they age, who flatulate a lot here on this forum after digesting all the fiber being offered [I’m one of ‘em, for sure]

Noodles (aka chaff) – will go whichever way the wind blows or the noodle is thrown

Trouble-maker – anyone independent enough to make a decision against the majority

Alpha dog – no explanation necessary

Mr. Rodgers – wants to keep the neighborhood peaceful. Keeping the kids as a team is the most important thing.

Don King (aka “Madame” in some quarters) – only wants to back winners. Kid has a closet full of uniforms from various teams has played and guest played for over the years.

Very nicely done Rad. This information will serve us well in next couple months. The process is a necessary evil. Besides you have to look back at the last year and evaluate if everything still works well and is the right fit for your kid and family.

I have three of them playing now and the logistics and variables are mind blowing to try and pull together week in and out.

If I have learned anything, you start with the training first and make sure that is solid and then you move on to your kid and the team and how that fits. There is nothing worse than having a kid that is not quite at the right level and on a team that is trying to win the little league World Cup.

It's a healthy process, even if it blows up into the most dysfunctional two weeks you will ever experience. Plus, without soccer tryouts, what would you talk about at the pool in the summer?

Dats pretty good Radi. I done known a Gecko, a Mother Theresa, a bean counter, plenty o forum cattle (not hogs, jack flash!), and a Don king--all of dem both male and femail.

Let's me add anuther: Seargant Shultz. "I know nuthing colonel Hogan! Nuthing!" All da while ol' Shultzy is eatin the streudel and drinkin the Warsteiner and knowin nuthing. When all Shultzy is doin is a lookin the other way.

Ein Warsteiner bitte

Was just perusing through the different clubs and noticed Blue Valley charges $125 for their pre-tryout camp.

Hey now, that $125 gives your child the very best chance to make Blue Valley's fifth team in your child's age group!

Der ya go Maldini a rubbin salt in ol Paulie's gapin wounds. I scrapes togedder the $125 clams for little Paulie and he ain't even good enuff for the fifth team.

Legends web site has them free clinics listed. Plus, if you are so impressed and join the club, you get a copy of Andy's book - talk about value investing for club socccer!

Based on the length of Andy's posts and his strong desire to impress with big words, that book has got to be huge. But, correct me if I'm wrong, as a parent you must pay for it.

And Paulie, just think ... if you put a second kid in the program, you could get two books. Wouldn't they look great as high class JoCo-stylin' wheel-blocks for your lovely trailer?

If we paid for ours, my wife must've hid that from me, or it was buried in the club fees.

Here's a deal for you - I'll loan anyone our "well-used" copy. Return it when you're done. I'm sure there will be a waiting list from this offer of mine.